The other day there was a headline on Google News close to this title. Really? Shockingly, another study had been done to show that the stuff we came equipped with to feed our babies is totally awesome. No wonder the early humans made it past the first generation!

Read as many studies as you can. That way you will have an endless supply of references to which you can send skeptical parents, grandparents, in-laws and spouses to help them understand your breastfeeding choice. When the little voice in your head tells you that breastfeeding is what you want to do, there are scads of experts to explain why that little voice is right and why.

The lack of listening to that little voice is epidemic these days in the world of parenting. Suddenly, we are deaf to that sage within us and instead we turn to books and doctors. While those books have often been written by people who have lots of experience, you can bet they listened to their little voice before they told you what it said. Doctors are well educated and possibly smarter than your average pin, but they are not parenting experts. They are knowledgeable about the human body but that doesn’t mean they know better than you how to get your child to sleep through the night. Chances are they have gained experience of what works based on their observation of their patients and, you guessed it, listening to their own little voice when parenting their children.

As with anything else, going with your gut will only take you so far. Chances are however, you’ll know when you need to stop and ask for directions. Combine your inner knowledge with what the experts say. By trusting yourself to do right by your child, you’ll find your confidence soaring, and confidence, like breastmilk, is good stuff.

It has been six weeks since you gave birth and now you’ve been given the go ahead from your doctor. For many the “go ahead” for resuming sex after giving birth is no big deal. Some are wondering, “Go ahead for what?” After all, six weeks goes by very quickly when you have slept six hours during that six weeks, are simply glad to remember, occasionally, what your toothbrush is for and have big dreams of leaving the house again one day. When it dawns on you what the doctor is talking about as your husband gives you a circa 1974 wink and nod, you are thinking, I’ll tell you where you can “go ahead,” buddy.

You may be in the all clear but you also may have experienced physical trauma during birth, whether it was an episiotomy, a tear, bruising, a catheter or all of the above. While these all heal, the memories are there as are the potential worries over your new physicality. In addition, while intercourse may be safe, it may also be temporarily less comfortable than what you experienced to get you here to begin with.

There are several important things to remember when entering this “go ahead” phase. First, keep your new body in perspective. There are very few things in life that are permanent. Your body is capable of healing, reverting and changing. Accept your body as it is currently with the knowledge you are taking one day at a time. If your goal is to get back to your pre-baby body, go for it, but be realistic and kind to yourself. Don’t give up on the relaxation and pleasure sex can bring just because you are different than you used to be. Second, help your husband to understand what you need. If you are physically over-stimulated from birth, breastfeeding and the general sense of being needed, tell him you get to be the needy one. Tell him what you require. Third, hormones or the suppression of them can wreak havoc on your arousal. You may need some extra convincing and store bought lubrication. All of these situations are normal.

Life does go on after birth. Sex is a fabulous part of that and an important component of marriage. While you need to be patient with yourself and with your mate, give yourself permission. Allowing yourself to enjoy one of the initial ways you expressed your love to your love is a wonderful way to go ahead.

Throughout our lives, friends play an extremely important role. They are the first family we actually seek to become a member of as we move from our parents to independence. While we mature, our friends come and go and we demand different things from them. When you become a mother friends are of the utmost importance as they are our comrades, our sisters, our commiserate-ors, our posses. They are the beacons in our darkness.

Motherhood can be an extremely isolating experience. Despite a cadre of family and other children and of course, lest we forget them, our dear husbands, no one really understands what it is like besides other women doing the same thing. We may cry with our mates, share with our mothers and tell strangers more than they want to know but the women who tell us we’re idiots when we smack our shins on the dishwasher and laugh at us and who make us wear the clothes that look good on us because we can’t be trusted to dress ourselves, these are the ones who catch us when we falter. These are your mother elephants, surrounding you in a circle of fierceness when the world descends.

If you move to a new city, or go from being a working woman to a stay at home mom one of the first things on your to-do list should be to seek out other moms. Where are they? Go to the parks, the recreation centers, the cafes. Many communities have mom groups, as do religious congregations, libraries and book stores. Most gyms and the YMCA also have child-care as part of a membership. This is an excellent way to stay healthy, get a bit of a break from your little princess and meet other moms trying to stay in shape.

When babies are born they are difficult to converse with. When they start talking, you will only get to listen. When they go to school, they won’t talk to you anymore but they won’t listen either. When your children are a large part of life, as they should be, you need someone to talk to. The fact of the matter is hubby just doesn’t get how funny it is that when you happened to glance over at the driver next to you, it was apparent that they were watching you get your groove on while you cranked up some Nelly in the minivan. Seek new friends. Reconnect with the old ones. Surround yourself with their energy and their take, but mostly bask in the light of their give.

When you go to the store and register for baby items, it is often overwhelming. It seems that there are endless products that you and the soon to be arriving six pound, non-verbal bundle of love and poo will need to survive. Will the baby be traumatized if her bum comes in contact with a cold wipe? How will she stay warm without the special 54-snap sack? Look at all the places for baby to sit. Do you ever get to actually hold the baby?

Recently slings have been in the news and several have been pulled from the market permanently. Like many other issues in human history, the current sling movement will likely experience a generalized suffering. This is unfortunate as many are well designed and scads of babies have been safely carted in slings for a very long time.

When you are expecting a baby it is difficult not to get caught up in all the stuff but be aware of the precedent you are setting. While it is inevitable that our children will become consumers of one kind or another, teaching them early on that they “need” all this stuff is a dangerous idea. The reality is that when the baby first comes home, and for several months afterwards, you’ll need very little besides plenty of burp clothes, onesies, diapers and several changing pads. They won’t even spend a lot of time in their crib initially. In fact, it makes an excellent changing table while you wait for the blessed moment when it becomes a sleeping area with convenient bars all around it.

When making decisions about what a baby needs, hark back to the days of early humans. Did the cave mommy have any of it? No and look, we’re still here! We have come a long way and learned a great deal. There are certainly items that help us keep our babies safe and healthy but a lot of that is being taken care of by the naturally well-equipped mom. While we are well designed to withstand a cold wipe on our bum, we are also wired for warmth, contact and general proximity that fabulous woman. You can’t register for that and it is all available for free.

Weaning actually starts when your child starts consuming anything besides breastmilk or a substitute. It is best if it is a gradual process but that process is highly subjective. One woman’s six weeks is another’s four years. These dynamics have much to do with the child’s temperament, the mother’s, the support system in the family, jobs, other children, cultural norms and general societal expectations.

Though you may still have just a squishy little love and are nowhere near ready to wean, the thought has likely crossed your mind as to when it will happen. Some nights the thought may have occurred to you frequently with it appearing like a mirage in the mental desert of 3am. Other moments may find you thinking you would gladly continue indefinitely. The key is those moments, which like others, can change often. Taking weaning day by day is really the best method.

As your baby ages and still seems small, you may decide a year is not enough. As they continue into toddlerhood and you find nursing a beneficial mothering tool when faced with tantrums, you may decide two years is not enough. When your baby is one month old, two years sounds like an eternity but you will be surprised how quickly it flies by.

If you decide to let your nursing relationship ride, you can be involved in the weaning. Mother-led weaning is an important way for you to manage your control over a situation that does tax your body and your energy. Though you may wish to continue as long as possible it is OK to limit where and when you are willing to nurse. Helping your child understand your limits early on is an excellent way for them to learn boundaries in general. If you hold your ground and will not nurse in the grocery store, eventually they won’t ask. Like any other limit setting scenario, make sure you have the gumption to follow through otherwise Jr. wins every time.

Early in your nursing relationship, do your best to focus on the here and now. Weaning will happen and rest assured that you will have your say. Enjoy your little dribbler knowing full well that when he leaves for college, it will be OK for him to go far, far away.

As you prepare to welcome your child into the world, whether it is the first or next, there are literally millions of people who will tell you what to do. They come in the form of books, web sites, teachers, sages, family, friends and random strangers on the street. Of all the people who will have an opinion of how you should handle your parenting, those you must actually prepare for are the in-laws. If this were a film there would be a chilling, suspenseful sound effect just before the term “in-laws.”

Regardless of what kind of family you married into, or what kind of family you tried to marry out of for that matter, you will get suggestions and advice galore from every side and you will need a warehouse of answers to get you through. When your father-in-law asks if the baby is growing because he doesn’t think it will on your skim milk, just answer him. Beam your brightest and boast your angel’s weight while you pat yourself on the back. You’ll have to do this again next week, but eventually he won’t ask anymore. If your grandmother says it is time for your four-week-old baby to eat meat, simply tell her that the best thing for babies is breastmilk through their first year. If you find your mother-in-law about to feed your little patootie frosting from a can, remind her that you won’t be starting solids until the baby is about six months old and that when you do it will be a banana or an avocado and she can be first in the bib line.

Eventually your very own panel of experts will see that your child is thriving and growing despite the fact that he hasn’t even had formula. They will likely never want to hear more about why you made the choice that you did, but they will leave you alone about it.

Humankind has been raising babies for a very long time. Clearly, much of what we’ve done has been right. When it is your turn to join the ranks of the pro-creators, make some simple decisions about what direction you’re heading. Understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing will not only help you through the days when you ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?!” but will also provide you the answers you need for the naysayers. While you are making those plans, leave some room for tweaking. There are sages among us and they may have just the mothering morsel you’re looking for.

The latest news is that babies under four months old should not be carried in slings. This is unfortunate as birth through around four months is when many babies are carried this way. These warnings come as fourteen babies have died as a result of suffocation in slings, three in 2009 alone. The issues are that babies are placed in a c-shape and/or with their mouths and noses too close to the parent’s clothing. Babies with their weak neck muscles at this age are unable to lift their own heads to create a free airway.

Babywearing has become increasingly popular and has moved more mainstream from just the breastfeeding mom and her Aztec pattered sling. There are countless companies and styles from which to choose. Babies in slings are close to mom’s heartbeat and warmth and this proximity is what the nine months in/nine months out concept, Kangaroo care and Dr. Karp’s techniques all hail. The problem comes when mothers feel a false sense of security by having baby so close. While pregnant, nature protects baby in the womb by surrounding him with fluid, muscle and fat. He also has a continuous stream of oxygen. Even if we occasionally forget we are carrying little Jr., our body is taking care of business for us – we breathe in, so does baby, we eat, so does baby. Once out of this haven it is generally up to moms to be constantly aware of baby. While it seems impossible that you ever would, don’t forget about the baby. When carrying him in a sling, his head should be visible and unable to flop forward. Check in with your little squishy man while you cart him around in your pouch.

So much of parenting is common sense and high alert. Your radar should always be up and being a parent enables you to function at this level without going immediately insane. Insanity may come intermittently and some days it feels like it’s settling in for good, but we are equipped to do this. Years ago John Stossel reported a study that explained why men never hear us when they are watching T.V. They played a recording of many voices at once reading different stories. When the men listened they could pick out one voice and hear that story. When the women listened, they could hear all the voices at once. Men hear one thing at a time. We hear it all at the same time – the children, the dryer, the doorbell, the oven. Though baby is close to our hearts in the sling, keep them close in your mind as well and listen.

When your baby is about six months old, she may be ready for solids. La Leche League recommends starting solids between six and nine months. This differs from what most doctors suggest, which is starting rice cereal at around four months. This recommendation is based on a baby’s iron stores from birth running out at around six months. La Leche League’s recommendation is based on giving baby’s digestive system as much time as possible to mature before the introduction of potential allergens and the fade of the tongue-thrust reflex.

Watching your baby and how she reacts to the family’s dining will help clue you in to whether they are ready for a spoon or something mushy on their tray. Often children who are getting ready to experiment with solids will track your fork from your plate to your mouth. Give them a baby spoon to play with. If they take it into their mouths without their tongue automatically thrusting it out, they are ready on that front. Next, read a book like A Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and the chapter on starting solids. While rice cereal is fortified with iron, starting solids is really more about your tiny mad scientist and their new lab at the highchair. Breastmilk is the best nutrition for babies through one year and they will decrease their intake if calories from solids start to tip the balance. Also, while breastmilk is low in iron, it is more easily absorbed than the type found in cereals and other fortified foods.

Foods that are naturally high in iron like avocados are great to start with. Babies are learning about texture and taste at this point, not to mention how to get the most amount of gooey goo into their hair and all over their clothes. Once they discover the joys of throwing, their lab will move to the floor, but for now give them bits of what the rest of the family is eating and have them with you at the dinner table. Use common sense when it comes to foods that are choking hazards. Just about anything can be mashed for baby to taste and smear. As they get a bit older and are practicing their pincher motion small bits of food that they can pick up are tons of fun.

Remember when nursing and starting solids that your baby is getting their nutrition from you. Nurse them first and then let them explore. Focus on letting them discover the world of food through small introductions. Keeping your stress low while they are “eating” will help conserve your energy for the laundry room.

There is a great cartoon showing a mother in the hospital bed with the baby and the father, dutifully standing next to her. All three have thought balloons above their heads reading “Now what?”

During your pregnancy you likely went on tours of where you would give birth, took classes on infant care, CPR and breastfeeding. You prepared and purchased, installed and assembled. The baby has seventeen different places to sit and more blankets than he’ll ever need along with books, toys, stuffed animals, a DVD titled How to Speak a Foreign Language When You’re Under 3 Months Old and a college fund. Now the baby is here and he is small, not that cute and doesn’t seem to play with the twelve different rattles in his room. He hasn’t even seen his room. You remember nothing prior to the birth, including everything from all those classes.

The first six weeks of a baby’s life are an exhaustive time, and yes, beautiful, magical, incredible, absolutely fantastic. Anyway, during this time the important thing to remember, aside from the massive amounts of information swimming about in your brain that you likely won’t need to recall for another six months, is that you and the baby are meant to do this: sleep, eat, heal, adjust. That’s it. Even if you are returning to work at the end of six weeks, allow yourself the true measure of that time to accomplish those four things. Sleep when baby sleeps, eat well, heal your body by following doctor’s orders and take one moment at a time.

The baby will nurse between 10-12 times in 24 hours and will often seem sleepy. He will be wrinkly and will contort his face in unimaginable ways. He may utter sounds like that of a grizzly bear. His poop will astound you. Enjoy his funny little body while you give him a bath. Pump if you need to make yourself more comfortable and nurse as much as you would like and he will accept. Wake a sleepy baby by changing the diaper, gently blowing on his head, removing his socks or burping.

Cute babies who are sitting up, smiling and are able to let go when they grab a fistful of their own hair are not newborns. Newborns are funny, amazing little creatures and will let you know, in no uncertain terms that they have arrived and will change all the rules. Letting them do this for a couple of weeks is OK. They won’t remember the thrill of the power but you will remember the letting go of the books and the classes and the learning of listening to your baby.

It’s OK to be filled with glee that there aren’t a lot of utensils to unload from the dishwasher. It makes the task easier without all those pokey, cumbersome metal things to sort just so. They never fit in the drawer properly and are really loud and sometimes wake the baby and why don’t we just eat with our fingers? The old joke is always about guilt and Catholics, but even without ever having had your knuckles rapped by a nun, many of us suffer.

Apparently, the concept of a mother’s guilt doesn’t even translate into the French vernacular. Parisian mothers cannot fathom why a mother would feel guilty for using her time in a manner not dedicated to chores, responsibilities or obligations. Even when we don’t really feel that bad, we wax on about how terrible we felt about slacking off. If “slacking off” means we can smile at our babies when they want to nurse again and smile at our husbands when they want anything then slack away.

Stay at home and working mothers alike often feel like they must earn their “keep.” If everything is done, then they can do nothing. The problem is that nothing is ever done. We may sometimes catch up but life is messy and while the hampers may be empty and a load is done every day, it is still every day! Weeds are growing in one bed as you weed another. You’ve cleaned the closets but ignored the inside of your car for three weeks. A mother’s purpose in life is not to deplete her soul’s bank account. If you always withdraw and never deposit, where does that leave you? You have known for a long time why the mother puts on her oxygen mask first in the plane.

Once you become a parent your life forever becomes about sustaining others. It is as it should be and fits into the cycle of life, but our babies need us for more than sustenance. When you nurse, eat well and drink plenty of water. As you parent, keep up with your favorite exercise and reading. As a homemaker wash the clothes of the ones you love while listening to your music. Scrub the toilets and then go cleanse your soul with a walk, a glass of wine, a bath or absolutely nothing. The next time you unload the dishwasher and it is filled with pots and pans, a bowl, a mug and one spoon, let out a guilt-free WOO HOO and get back to that chair in the sun.