Blebs are another common, but potentially panic-inducing, effect of breastfeeding. They appear on the nipple and look like white blisters. They are, in fact, small amounts of milk in the tissue and can be painful but are not worrisome. You may get them, you may not.

The worry returns again to the ever-present subject of proper latch. When nursing the baby, make sure her mouth is open yawn-wide, point your nipple towards her nose and pull her towards you. Do not lean forward otherwise you will end up with a tremendous backache. After she is latched on, check to see that her lips are flanged out like a fish. While 10 seconds of pain is OK, any longer and the suction needs to be broken and another attempt should be made. Improper latch can not only cause you increasingly worse discomfort, but will affect your milk supply as well. The part of the breast that needs to be stimulated for the brain to receive signals to make more milk are located in the areola which is compressed comfortably when the nipple is far enough in the back of the baby’s mouth.

When you notice blebs, continue nursing. Deny your inner primate and do not pick them. We all know that the picking temptation does not wane with age or maturity, but it will not help. Instead, soften them with a warm compress or olive oil. This will help in removal. You may see a bit of hardened milk. As you rise to the challenge of proper latch, protect your nipples with a salve like Lansinoh. This product is pure and safe for baby while providing protection for you. Do not use antibiotic creams.

Finding strange, blister-like bumps on your breast is just one more adventure. Like other bumps, blisters and strangeness that greet us as we move through life, they are part of the experience. You can be sure they are worth it. Just about all of it is.

There you are, breast-pumping away while reading People. Ok, so it was The Economist but you were wishing it was People. When you glance down to revel in the collection of your one woman milk factory, you notice that the milk is a bit orange and there is bright red blood at your nipple. Bright red blood is generally not a welcome sight outside the body. Orange breastmilk, for that matter, isn’t in the realm of welcome sights either. In this situation however, it is likely that there is nothing to worry about.

There are many reasons why blood can present in breastmilk. The most common is ruptured capillaries close to the surface in the nipple. Vascular engorgement will cause the “rusty-pipe” look to milk as mentioned above. The changes that breasts go through during pregnancy and the increased blood flow can cause this phenomenon. First time mothers are the most common sufferers and generally they experience this in both breasts. Nipples that have become cracked can also be a source of blood. Latch is always the key to successful breastfeeding and getting your nipple far enough back in your baby’s mouth will prevent it being compressed against the hard palate instead of the soft one. Remember, it is breastfeeding, not nipplefeeding.

Another reason, though less common, for blood in breastmilk can be intraductal papillomas, caused by fibrocystic breast disease. These benign lumps are located in the milk ducts and cannot be felt. This generally occurs in only one breast and resolves on its own.

While it can be downright frightening to see blood in your breastmilk, think of the simplest explanation first. The small amount of blood will not harm your baby and you are encouraged to continue pumping and breastfeeding. Should this condition last for more that two weeks after birth, consult your doctor and a lactation specialist about the next step.

When you embark on any journey in life, one of the most important things you must take along is your sense of humor. While we discussed blood in breastmilk here, the fact is that we’re still talking about boobs and that is funny. There are plenty of things in life to cry about. Make sure you are really dealing with one of those things before you start shedding the tears. First, laugh out loud at your rusty pipes. Then pay attention, give it some time and proceed with caution.

There are lots of phrases denoting difficult and seemingly pointless tasks, like herding cats or wrestling with greasy pigs. The point is that whatever you are attempting won’t happen; the impossibility of the thing, like attempting to discover a child’s limit for repetitive action. If there is a limit, you can be sure you won’t reach it. If you make a funny face when someone talks too loudly on the phone and dramatically hold the phone away from your ear, how many times is this funny? Normally once, but to a child it can be repeated indefinitely, often with increasingly enthusiastic reactions.

To understand and know your child is to help them establish limits for their behavior and their tolerance of other’s. Demonstrating our limits as their loving parent safely illustrates why it does not make sense not to push people too far as it makes everyone unhappy. Our children are constantly conducting experiments on us, and they are adept scientists. The laboratory of the family is a key component in the boundary-knowledge of the child. Learning how to deal with the world and the myriad of people in it is learned first in the home.

Besides parents, sibling relationships are a key factor in a child’s development. Helping your children understand what they can learn from each other is important in illustrating to them why their behavior towards each other matters. Explain that their sister is more than just a pesky drone but actually a perfect relationship in which to practice strengthening weaknesses like lack of patience. If they can learn to deal with their relentless little brother with grace then they will have all the tools they need to deal with the same types of people as adults.

Early on children start answering questions like “What did you do at school today?” or “How was your day?” with the classic responses of “Nothing” and “Fine.” It can be hard not to take these answers personally, but it isn’t about you. The questions are simply too broad and the answers too complicated. Getting information from your children once they enter the Nothing/Fine stage is tricky. It requires a talent for slipping in the side doors of their brains.

From the beginning, children have a keen sense of their parents. They can read our facial nuances and small utterances like some strange sect of fortune telling savants. Though they may not appear to be paying attention or even looking at us, they are picking up on all of our signals. To side-step this ability, first tap your inner Lady Gaga so they can’t read your poker-face. Next, ask specific questions like, “How was ______ today?” Insert your child’s favorite activity or subject but do not fall into the trap of using this everyday. They will be on to your game by Tuesday and you will be back in the land of Nothing/Fine. Mix it up for the little tyke. Try other focused conversation starters like naming three great things, three OK things and three bad things about their day. Ask if anyone got into trouble. What happened at recess? Finding out how the spelling test went can come later. First, find out if that kid from lunch picked his nose again.

Starting a conversation with questions about specifics not always related to academics will help to get your child talking. Put yourself in their shoes. School is like their job and sometimes when you come home from work you don’t feel like reliving the day. Talking about other aspects of where they spend the majority of their time presents unseen opportunities.

Your child’s answers may not tell you much about what they are learning but you may get some juicy 4^th grade gossip. Those insights are like golden morsels. They are what will keep you up to date on the current events of your child and that is the education you are looking for.

Thankfully, when your child is just a baby she doesn’t think poop is funny yet. You can look at her poop, read about it, compare it with the last one, babble at her about how proud you are for it and even go into a long, detailed discussion about it with your spouse. This will change drastically within a few short years. Once this occurs, any mention of poop will likely result in a wholly separate type of accident brought on by hysterics and even though they are older, you are still the one doing the laundry.

So, some information regarding the early days of poop. When babies are born it is important for them to pass their first bowel movements called meconium, within the first days. Meconium is black, tarry, sticky and comprised of the waste products from baby’s time in the womb. The laxative component of colostrum, the first “milk” a mother produces, helps baby to pass it. A breastfed baby’s stools will turn yellowish and seedy after several days. Many people compare it to pea soup or chunky peanut butter. If you notice a lot of mucous or the color is significantly green, pay attention to how long you are nursing on each breast. Too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk can cause this. Think of foremilk as your baby’s hydration and hindmilk as her food. Hindmilk is what she needs to pack on those pounds and turn into your little butterball. Keeping baby on the same breast for roughly ten minutes will help her get both stages of milk.

All babies are different and thus their frequency of passing stool eventually varies. Initially, most infants will go at each feeding. As she ages, she may have a bowel movement once a day and many breastfed babies go once a week. For the duration of exclusive breastfeeding, your baby’s bowel movements will be soft and yellowish.

Like everything else, poop is something that bears talking about. It is an important way to know that your baby is getting enough to eat and is healthy. Once you start the potty training phase, discussions should focus on the privacy of poop. Though it will likely make no difference in the eventual guffaws surrounding the subject, you can at least get a head start on excusing yourself from the discussion. Tow the line that “Poop is funny to your friends, but not to me.” Then you can go and laugh hysterically in the privacy of your closet.

Initially, babies only accept the nipple into their mouths. Whether it is a breast or a bottle, does not make a whole lot of difference to them; they are being fed and their basest need is being met. As they get older and see the world differently through rolling and sitting, the mouth becomes an integral part of their laboratory. Experiments of all kinds can be conducted by your mouth. Of course, when you are nine months old, logic defies your choices and that is where mom and dad enter.

Early on, you may be able to tell whether your babe is particularly “oral” or not. Though all babies love to suck, not all are desperate too in order to solve all their problems. Some are content with sucking to eat and perhaps to fall asleep. Others verbalize quite clearly in the form of ear-splitting shrieks that they will have something to suck on at all times or you will hear about it. As your munchkin starts to become mobile, he will notice all manner of things on the floor. The list is endless but things like crumbs, buttons, pen caps and those bitty plastic things that hold price tags on are things that you may find on your floor if you have no older children. If older children live in the home, the list is longer and includes magnetized balls smaller than peas, rubber dolly shoes with which you can floss your teeth and Lego pieces for which you’ll need a microscope. Vacuum cleaners are excellent tools, but there is always one left and the baby will find it. If you notice your precious one picking something off the floor, calmly approach them, hold out your hand, smile and say, “THANK YOU!” If you do this from the beginning they will seek out the positive reinforcement and generally will not attempt to hide the piece of hamster food they’ve just discovered. It works wonders however, with particularly oral babies, their temptation will be great and you must be vigilant.

Babies absorb a surprising amount of information long before they start verbalizing. They pick up on the tone of your voice, your facial expressions and the nuances of human emotion. Obviously, they don’t understand the meaning of it all but they are building a map to guide them. If we freak out when they get unusually quiet and focused while practicing their pincher motion on a bacteria-laden choking hazard, think what will happen down the road. Hone your “I am a Super Nonchalant Mama” skills now before they ask where they came from.

When babies are born they need warmth, sustenance and love. These three things along with their tangential cousins like guidance, patience and a little induced angst, are the main ingredients for cultivating a human being. Garishly colored talking toys which enter your home in their Trojan Horse packaging and multiply while you sleep will not come to your aid when Her Royal Highness needs her pants changed or demands lunch. They will trip you and induce a simmering headache as they serenade you throughout the day with their special, cloying version of the ABC song. Of course, you can sing that all by yourself for free.

Give a child a fantastic toy and they’ll have the most fun with the box, wrapping paper and ribbons. It is all in the packaging, literally. Toys and getting presents is fun. Birthdays and holidays would not feel as loaded with anticipation if it weren’t for all those gorgeous packages and their secret contents promising never-ending joy. Like the six pound bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips from Sam’s Club, moderation is the key.

Children learn very early that excitement is to be had from parties and presents and spending money. It is a heady feeling to get something you want. There is not a thing wrong with it except when it gets out of hand. Unfortunately, toys and the stuff kids accumulate almost always does. We quickly get hooked to the adrenalin rush of “getting” but learning to deny a desire is a harder lesson to learn. Helping children understand the wisdom of denial in some situations and letting go in others is part of our job.

Allowing children to spend their own money provides the experience of decision making. If they may spend only $5, you will see them ponder how to get the most of it, even before you explain the concept. Ask leading questions and talk about negotiation or launch the savings and allowances discussion.

At home, cull toys on a regular basis. Get the kids involved. They won’t notice when the Kid’s Meal detritus disappears but you can bet they’ll ask for that blasted pink plastic dinosaur you tossed two months ago. Teach your budding shopper about blessing others through donation of their once loved but now lonely toys. Consumerism is inevitable but helping your child temper it with the lessons of letting go, denial and the value of their hard earned cash will carry them through life and right past the mall.

Much of the country is on the verge of entering hurricane season. During this time, we are reminded to take precautions and prepare. Have an escape plan, pack the necessities, stock the pantry with plenty of water and eighty-seven cans of Dinty Moore. Preparation serves to make us ready to make decisions instantly. When does the hurricane season of motherhood start? It doesn’t ever end is the answer, which means simplified daily preparation is key.

Life is full of imminent storms. There are moments of calm like when the baby is asleep or older children have left for school, but just prior to those events the debris is flying through the air at 150 MPH. Just as with dangerous weather systems, daily family life requires organization, preparedness for the unknown and an escape plan. This doesn’t mean you have to go out right now and buy the latest calendar perfect for families on the go. It means you must ask yourself these questions daily: Are there diapers? Does everyone have something clean to wear? Is there something resembling food in the kitchen? Those are the most important questions and will help prompt your next step: errands, grocery store, laundry, all three. Your missions for the day prompted, you are free to ponder an escape plan. Do you need a sitter for the weekend? Can you spare an hour to have lunch with a friend? Can you hide in the bathroom for seven minutes and paint your toenails? Each day brings at least a morning, afternoon, evening and bedtime storm so each day must have an escape plan.

Trying too hard to prepare will have the opposite effect of remaining calm in an emergency situation. You will end up remembering to water the potted plants but everyone’s sheets will still be wet in the washer at 10pm. Preparing for storms isn’t about being perfect. It is about whittling life down to the real necessities. It’s about having what you need when that first Domino is bumped. It’s about enjoying dinner with your family because the sheets are back on the bed, there is milk for tomorrow’s cereal and when bedtime’s storm has subsided, there is a book or a movie waiting alongside a half-gallon of ice cream and a bottle of wine that have both been given time to breathe.

There once was a boy who took homemade graham crackers to pre-school. You already see where this is going, right? The crackers were dusted with a bit of cinnamon and sugar and were made with real Graham flour. The boy and his mother had made these several times before and they were good. Seriously, they were. At school that day, the homemade graham crackers were passed out to all the little children, two of whom commented that they tasted like dog food. When the boy told his mother, she cried, they never made homemade graham crackers again and she promised him that from that day forward, he could take SpongeBob Cheez-Its when it was his turn for snack.

The above is a true story and it marks the beginning of the mother’s trip down Snack Balance Lane. It also marks the end of her using her son’s snack day as a time to stand up for proper nutrition. Some may say it is when the mother sold her soul to all things Great and Refined but this is untrue. SpongeBob Cheez-Its at snack time do not have to be a slippery slope to white bread and marshmallow fluff sandwiches or a daily dose of hot dogs. They are however, non-descript, wallflower-type snacks. Most kids like them and apparently, they do not taste like dog food. This is a good thing when your kid is the snack guy.

As children grow and enter school and other settings where there are large groups of their peers, social standards are important to them, gaining percentage points as the years roll by. Trying to fit in with your peers does not mean that children will eventually grow up to be sheep or lemmings. Learning to be part of a crowd and thereby discovering how you are different, or how you would like to be, is an important part of becoming a mature adult. Raising a child to mature adulthood should be done with proper nutrition but be careful the battles you pick. There is no reason your child should suffer socially because you are personally offended by the existence of Fruit Gushers. Establish good nutrition early on so that it is a common theme in your household and explain why good food is good. Let them make disgusting choices at the grocery store occasionally. That way when they visit their friend’s house and are offered a Pop-Tart, they won’t fall onto the floor and weep with joy. They will quietly relish the contraband and be capable of playing it cool.

Most women go through profound personal change when they become mothers. Whether you give birth, adopt, breastfeed or not something in our brains clicks into the mode responsible for really seeing the world outside ourselves. Someone else has become more important. We have a higher calling.

Once the narcissism of youth fades a bit, you achieve clarity, such as you’ve never had. Gradually, you become aware of what is important and what is not. This isn’t to say that you won’t slip back into the bliss of your own needs. It is important to try on sixty pairs of shoes at DSW. It is imperative that you ogle the racks at Nordstrom’s. Have you seen the new cardis at Old Navy? But I digress. We were talking about selflessness and higher callings.

Clarity helps when you have to decide whether another day at the park is more important than a quiet afternoon at home or whether Little Miss needs a nap more than she needs to be at a birthday party for a two-year-old. It is knowing that very little of life’s minutiae will matter in ten years and also why it is important to stay up past bedtime to hang out with a visiting Grandpa.

Someone once asked me what the most incredible thing to happen to me was since my youth besides getting married and having children. My immediate answer was maturity. It is liberating to dispense of the concerns of adolescence and even young adulthood. The serenity of feeling comfortable in one’s own skin is a welcome break from what it feels like to be a teenager. When you become a mother, the natural progression of maturity is pushed along. Life isn’t all forward progress, of course, and you will still throw yourself onto the bed and sob or occasionally have a hissy fit. Maturity doesn’t prevent us from acting like babies all the time, but combined with motherhood’s gift of living some of life outside of ourselves, you will be able to forgive yourself. When you can forgive yourself your human transgressions, life is easier and so are the children.