At one, babies physiologically need at least one solid nap per day. It will generally last at least two hours and is a harbinger of good nighttime sleeps. In addition, their diet at this point has probably consisted of breastmilk, maybe formula, perhaps bits of the different food groups, some of which may have actually entered their digestive systems and not their hair. They are used to a certain amount of stimuli – books, toys, music, balls, clapping, baths. To take them from this routine kind of day and to instead have one where mommy is preoccupied setting up the margarita machine, they are surrounded by 25 close friends, they eat a large slice of refined carbohydrates and may have had a poor nap, is a major shock. They may even spend a good portion of their birthday in tears and exhaustion.

A better plan would be to keep it simple. Even it you want to celebrate this day with your friends, and that is understandable, make sure that the rest of the day is spent per normal. Have a wee cupcake ceremony with a few family members when it makes sense for the birthday girl, for example after the mandatory nap and long before dinner. The “cupcake” can be anything you wish it to be. Wearing a birthday hat, Mommy and Daddy singing and getting your picture taken will make a blob of plain yogurt with a blueberry on top seem like a cupcake. Besides, have they ever seen a cupcake? If you do plan on going the cake and icing route, be sure the remaining meals of the day are top notch. Invite your friends over after bedtime and have pictures to show them of the babe in his birthday hat. Make some margarita cupcakes for yourself.

Babies and children will not remember birthday party celebrations until they are considerably older. Save your energy and their peaceful days by waiting.

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Per normal, you need diapers, wipes, an extra change of clothes (complete for bambino, an extra top for you), and a blanket. Plan your clothing for discreet nursing. The airplane is not a great place to haul out large quantities of pillows or breasts. A light cardigan and a tee are just what you need. When you lift the tee, the top part of your breast is covered, you can still see the baby and the cardigan covers your midriff. Take a high protein snack for your hard working body and a bit of chocolate for your overwrought psyche. Licorice ropes work if you are giving up the good stuff for your precious pearl.

If you are flying solo, call upon a flight attendant if you need to use the restroom. Generally, wee ones are a welcome burden and the two foot bathroom is no place to be one-handed with a baby and teeming bacteria. “As a courtesy, wipe down surfaces for the next person.” Aren’t you clearly the only person who EVER does that?

If baby cries, keep in mind that the drone of the engines greatly reduces the effects of any wails. Many people have dealt with crying babies on airplanes and relying on the kindness of strangers is necessary when you are 25,000 feet in the sky. If you have to put up with some salty soul, best leave it to the other passengers. If you keep your cool and concentrate on your child, someone else will no doubt rise to your defense.

Flying with Junior is not a guarantee of screaming. It may mean a nap for you both or drooly smiles between baby and the lovely grammy sitting across the aisle. As with all adventures in your new role as mommy, embrace it. It will probably all turn out all right, plus you will have a fab new cardi.

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Cave-mommies most definitely slept with their babies but they also breastfed and likely did not have problems with obesity, smoking or alcohol and drug abuse. These are all risk factors to consider regarding co-sleeping. In addition, note the cave-mommy reference. Super-dads are far more common these days but they are still not as intuitive as mothers nor are they engineered like them. When mothers and babies are nestled together both their breathing and their body temperatures regulate to one another. A father and baby will doze off together and both will wake up hot and sweaty.

As a breastfeeding mom, smoking, alcohol and drug abuse are all on your list of don’ts. As a new parent getting obesity under control is an important goal. Not only should your health be a priority so you can properly care for your children and increase your chances for a long life, but also in your capacity as a role-model. Children can inspire many changes and this one will benefit the whole family.

Barring any of the aforementioned issues, there are ways to make co-sleeping a safer part of life. Naps are a great way to catch up on sleep and during brief ones your sleep remains light. Learning the art of the 15-20 minute cat-nap when you become a parent is one of the key ways to stay in sanity’s shallow end. Lie next to your baby on top of the bedclothes. If they require a blanket, use one of their own. If you get into your bed, keep baby above any sheets and blankets. Remove any pillows from around their head. At night, particularly with newborns and both parents in bed, a co-sleeper is the best option. This keeps baby safe in their own nook and still close at hand for daddy to comfort and mommy to feed.

Like most widespread campaigns to the public the warning of catastrophe often stems from isolated circumstances with specific causes. There are no shortcuts in parenting. Keep yourself informed, trust your instincts and make choices that are best for your baby. That is what they are born trusting you to do.

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There are excellent ways to mark the passing of these milestones. You can take pictures of your baby next to the same stuffed bear from the beginning. You can take a picture of your five-pound wonder next to a bag of flour or your ten-pound hunk-a-love next to a bowling ball. You can write in a journal, keep a scrapbook or hire a photographer. These are a few ideas and you can spend your whole life getting more ideas (and maybe more anxiety?) by doing a search on the web.

As children get older, the milestones get more subtle and seem to have more time in between them. Of course they get taller and their bodies change but often there are big leaps in maturity and understanding the more adult concepts of life. They may become more compassionate as they continue to expand their understanding of the world outside of themselves. Perhaps they have their first crush. Their shoulders get ridiculously broad.

There is nothing we can do about these changes. We celebrate the tiny ones and start panicking when the big ones approach. Where did all the time go? What do you mean those aren’t Daddy’s socks and you need to get your shoes on? Since when can everyone in the house reach the cereal bowls? These are horrifying things for parents to see and yet we nearly burst at the seams with pride for these people we are readying for the world.

When you feel the sweat prickling on your neck because you realize you haven’t posted pictures onto a family web page every 90 seconds, remember not so long ago, the average parent did not even have a camera. Along with the doorjamb, they marked their soul with the child’s growth. They absorbed the moments of life when they could and probably missed a lot of them. Mark your milestones with something simple. Even memories will do.

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Another possibility is that your answer to those questions is no and you are experiencing plugged ducts. By finding the edges of the lump you will be able to sufficiently massage it while nursing and apply warm compresses to help relieve any discomfort. It is safe for your baby to nurse while you cope with plugged ducts and will also help. Also gently massage the area while in the shower as the warmth and pressure can help clear the duct. Watch your symptoms for any increase in severity. Plugged ducts, and your susceptibility to them, are often pre-cursors to mastitis. They are a clear sign that you are overwrought.

When mom is overwrought, everyone in the family loses. Make sure your partner is aware of your situation. Extra rest and vigilance will keep you out of the doctor’s office but we ultimately have to take responsibility for trying to be in more than one place at a time. Knights in shining armor are super rare these days. If you want saved, you must rescue yourself. You only have two hands and one head. Use them in coordinated ways that enable you to get reasonable things accomplished while staying healthy. Putting yourself first ensures that everyone else gets a place in line for their dose of mommy.

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The worry returns again to the ever-present subject of proper latch. When nursing the baby, make sure her mouth is open yawn-wide, point your nipple towards her nose and pull her towards you. Do not lean forward otherwise you will end up with a tremendous backache. After she is latched on, check to see that her lips are flanged out like a fish. While 10 seconds of pain is OK, any longer and the suction needs to be broken and another attempt should be made. Improper latch can not only cause you increasingly worse discomfort, but will affect your milk supply as well. The part of the breast that needs to be stimulated for the brain to receive signals to make more milk are located in the areola which is compressed comfortably when the nipple is far enough in the back of the baby’s mouth.

When you notice blebs, continue nursing. Deny your inner primate and do not pick them. We all know that the picking temptation does not wane with age or maturity, but it will not help. Instead, soften them with a warm compress or olive oil. This will help in removal. You may see a bit of hardened milk. As you rise to the challenge of proper latch, protect your nipples with a salve like Lansinoh. This product is pure and safe for baby while providing protection for you. Do not use antibiotic creams.

Finding strange, blister-like bumps on your breast is just one more adventure. Like other bumps, blisters and strangeness that greet us as we move through life, they are part of the experience. You can be sure they are worth it. Just about all of it is.

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There are many reasons why blood can present in breastmilk. The most common is ruptured capillaries close to the surface in the nipple. Vascular engorgement will cause the “rusty-pipe” look to milk as mentioned above. The changes that breasts go through during pregnancy and the increased blood flow can cause this phenomenon. First time mothers are the most common sufferers and generally they experience this in both breasts. Nipples that have become cracked can also be a source of blood. Latch is always the key to successful breastfeeding and getting your nipple far enough back in your baby’s mouth will prevent it being compressed against the hard palate instead of the soft one. Remember, it is breastfeeding, not nipplefeeding.

Another reason, though less common, for blood in breastmilk can be intraductal papillomas, caused by fibrocystic breast disease. These benign lumps are located in the milk ducts and cannot be felt. This generally occurs in only one breast and resolves on its own.

While it can be downright frightening to see blood in your breastmilk, think of the simplest explanation first. The small amount of blood will not harm your baby and you are encouraged to continue pumping and breastfeeding. Should this condition last for more that two weeks after birth, consult your doctor and a lactation specialist about the next step.

When you embark on any journey in life, one of the most important things you must take along is your sense of humor. While we discussed blood in breastmilk here, the fact is that we’re still talking about boobs and that is funny. There are plenty of things in life to cry about. Make sure you are really dealing with one of those things before you start shedding the tears. First, laugh out loud at your rusty pipes. Then pay attention, give it some time and proceed with caution.

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To understand and know your child is to help them establish limits for their behavior and their tolerance of other’s. Demonstrating our limits as their loving parent safely illustrates why it does not make sense not to push people too far as it makes everyone unhappy. Our children are constantly conducting experiments on us, and they are adept scientists. The laboratory of the family is a key component in the boundary-knowledge of the child. Learning how to deal with the world and the myriad of people in it is learned first in the home.

Besides parents, sibling relationships are a key factor in a child’s development. Helping your children understand what they can learn from each other is important in illustrating to them why their behavior towards each other matters. Explain that their sister is more than just a pesky drone but actually a perfect relationship in which to practice strengthening weaknesses like lack of patience. If they can learn to deal with their relentless little brother with grace then they will have all the tools they need to deal with the same types of people as adults.

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From the beginning, children have a keen sense of their parents. They can read our facial nuances and small utterances like some strange sect of fortune telling savants. Though they may not appear to be paying attention or even looking at us, they are picking up on all of our signals. To side-step this ability, first tap your inner Lady Gaga so they can’t read your poker-face. Next, ask specific questions like, “How was ______ today?” Insert your child’s favorite activity or subject but do not fall into the trap of using this everyday. They will be on to your game by Tuesday and you will be back in the land of Nothing/Fine. Mix it up for the little tyke. Try other focused conversation starters like naming three great things, three OK things and three bad things about their day. Ask if anyone got into trouble. What happened at recess? Finding out how the spelling test went can come later. First, find out if that kid from lunch picked his nose again.

Starting a conversation with questions about specifics not always related to academics will help to get your child talking. Put yourself in their shoes. School is like their job and sometimes when you come home from work you don’t feel like reliving the day. Talking about other aspects of where they spend the majority of their time presents unseen opportunities.

Your child’s answers may not tell you much about what they are learning but you may get some juicy 4^th grade gossip. Those insights are like golden morsels. They are what will keep you up to date on the current events of your child and that is the education you are looking for.

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So, some information regarding the early days of poop. When babies are born it is important for them to pass their first bowel movements called meconium, within the first days. Meconium is black, tarry, sticky and comprised of the waste products from baby’s time in the womb. The laxative component of colostrum, the first “milk” a mother produces, helps baby to pass it. A breastfed baby’s stools will turn yellowish and seedy after several days. Many people compare it to pea soup or chunky peanut butter. If you notice a lot of mucous or the color is significantly green, pay attention to how long you are nursing on each breast. Too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk can cause this. Think of foremilk as your baby’s hydration and hindmilk as her food. Hindmilk is what she needs to pack on those pounds and turn into your little butterball. Keeping baby on the same breast for roughly ten minutes will help her get both stages of milk.

All babies are different and thus their frequency of passing stool eventually varies. Initially, most infants will go at each feeding. As she ages, she may have a bowel movement once a day and many breastfed babies go once a week. For the duration of exclusive breastfeeding, your baby’s bowel movements will be soft and yellowish.

Like everything else, poop is something that bears talking about. It is an important way to know that your baby is getting enough to eat and is healthy. Once you start the potty training phase, discussions should focus on the privacy of poop. Though it will likely make no difference in the eventual guffaws surrounding the subject, you can at least get a head start on excusing yourself from the discussion. Tow the line that “Poop is funny to your friends, but not to me.” Then you can go and laugh hysterically in the privacy of your closet.

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