The Family Laboratory of Limits

There are lots of phrases denoting difficult and seemingly pointless tasks, like herding cats or wrestling with greasy pigs. The point is that whatever you are attempting won’t happen; the impossibility of the thing, like attempting to discover a child’s limit for repetitive action. If there is a limit, you can be sure you won’t reach it. If you make a funny face when someone talks too loudly on the phone and dramatically hold the phone away from your ear, how many times is this funny? Normally once, but to a child it can be repeated indefinitely, often with increasingly enthusiastic reactions.

To understand and know your child is to help them establish limits for their behavior and their tolerance of other’s. Demonstrating our limits as their loving parent safely illustrates why it does not make sense not to push people too far as it makes everyone unhappy. Our children are constantly conducting experiments on us, and they are adept scientists. The laboratory of the family is a key component in the boundary-knowledge of the child. Learning how to deal with the world and the myriad of people in it is learned first in the home.

Besides parents, sibling relationships are a key factor in a child’s development. Helping your children understand what they can learn from each other is important in illustrating to them why their behavior towards each other matters. Explain that their sister is more than just a pesky drone but actually a perfect relationship in which to practice strengthening weaknesses like lack of patience. If they can learn to deal with their relentless little brother with grace then they will have all the tools they need to deal with the same types of people as adults.

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