Help for Hire

A client of mine recently asked if I had any help when my children were babies. I responded no and said that we had not even hired a babysitter until our oldest was eight. My response to the why not question was a gauche word implying our lack of intelligence. The reason was more along the lines of stupefied. We were also wide-eyed and flabbergasted, even eight years into parenting. The thought of hiring someone to help us or give us a break now and then never even occurred to us, but it should have. Though my mom came for the birth of each of our children, I did not think of replacing her amazing support once she left.

When we started using sitters, we were overwhelmingly grateful. Each time we came back home to sleeping children who had dutifully brushed their teeth and behaved like angels we felt like dropping to our knees and weeping on the shoes of the sitters. Instead we just seriously overpaid them.

While trusting someone with your children is difficult, especially if your kiddos are not yet verbal, it is possible to find your comfort zone. Word of mouth is an excellent start so talk to your friends with children the same age or older. Neighbors often have teenagers who they are more than happy to book solid every Saturday night for the next seven years. If you decide you aren’t ready for a nighttime sitter, getting away during the day is a good time to develop a sense of a sitter’s capabilities. It allows your child and the sitter to get to know each other and then when you are ready, a nighttime sit is easier and less worrisome for everyone. Babies obviously require someone with experience. Check your local Red Cross chapter to find out about hiring a sitter who has completed one of their Babysitter’s Training courses.

Aside from your escape rewards, your children will benefit from spending time with a sitter. They learn that they are OK without mom and dad. They learn to trust other big people and will form bonds that differ from those they have with you. A big kid is just about the coolest thing going in the eyes of a little kid. Plus, teenagers generally still enjoy getting down on the floor and playing. They would never admit it, but deep down they are stoked to get their hands on some Mega Blocks and Thomas the Train. This is immensely fun for your four-year-old but you are the one at the grocery store all by yourself and that benefits the whole family.

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